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| so after i pay off my fall tuition of 1,300 or sumtin lik dat these are things i plan on buying wit money i now make working woot woot!
1. my angel wing back tattoo
2. a Wii w/ smash brawl
3. ps2 w/ all the tekkan fixings
4. some books too i guess....
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| i really just want to get up and leave, and not leave as not go to school or dont go home, but leave as in go to some far off place ya know. im getting scared that the idea of just getting a degree to get a good job with good pay and just chill for the rest of my life is becoming very inviting. I dont like that. I guess to escape that mundaneness i just feel i have to leave to respark how i feel i guess. its all a little too complicated and pointless i guess, not really much concreteness to it, just thoughts back in forth in my head that mostly are never transcribed into words on paper or in speech. They are just there, nameless, wordless, without the vehicules of names and words i cant understand them, just try to sense them and feel them by doing something, as if by taking action i can feel if these nameless wordless ideas will trigger a phsyical or emotional response that lets me know take a left, no right turns, dont just travel straight, your getting hot like the sun, oh wait no ur cold lik pluto. b/c nothing i am currently doing is setting off a trigger of HOT like the Sun!! just small little things like your about as warm refrigerator every time i think of just leaving. Maybe thats what these nameless and wordless ideas want me to do. maybe just maybe. or i could be totally fine and i am just trying to make a big deal of something. i have no real physical reason to not like where i am, everything is fairly good. new home, kool classes, kool internship, possible jobs, good relationships, and yea. it just feels like there should be more. like i am not doing enough. argh, well i lost fuel on this topic for now | | |
| so i made a piggy of myself at chevys tonight and upon arriving home i said
damn im so full, fucking fatty
damn i am a master of literary tools!
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| so long time no post, so i figure i might as well. im reading pat califia's public sex and i am really enjoying it, theres a passage i really loved so ima share it wit yall! "IN some ways, the scions of the New Right who issue such stern warning about the dire consequences of feminism and gay liberation are correct. Decriminalizing sex and empowering women and queers would cause an explosion of decadence, perversity, dirty talking, intuition, fetishes, intelligence, sex toys, satire, makeup, promiscuity, blasphemy, celebration, bangles, art, nudity, weird hair, and political upheavel. For the first time we'd get to take a look at what's really inside the Pandora's Box of human sexuality." Pat Califia "Public Sex" | | |
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